When was the last time that you asked a question? If I had to put money on it, I’d say today.
A better question is when was the last time that you asked a good question? It may have been a lot longer. Good questions take thought and intentionality.
‘How’s it going?’ is a poor question. It invites closed answers and is more often used as a greeting than an actual question. ‘What is the most impactful thing that happened to you this week?’ is a better question, will invite better answers and will deepen your relationship.
Questions are especially important when we’re entering a situation in which we don’t know all the facts. It has been, far too often, my instinct to make assumptions and judge people based on what I am perceiving to be facts, but the truth is that what I see when I look at any given situation is often far from the actual truth.
It’s easy to think that you need to jump in and start correcting people and telling them what they have done wrong, but what you need to do first is ask a question.
The first question you ask should be some variation of: ‘What has happened that I don’t know about that led to this result?’
It assumes the best in others and assumes your own ignorance. It also stops you from looking foolish.
When you ask questions first it also allows the other person to give their side of the story. There is always more than one side of the story. Allow them to explain what happened and what their intentions were. You’ll find that more often than not they will say something like ‘I thought this would be a really good idea, because I thought that it would get us this result but I was clearly wrong because this other detrimental thing was actually the outcome. That was my bad and I’ll know for next time.’
By asking a question first you’ve discovered their good intention and the fact that they have already self-diagnosed what went wrong and what needs to be done better next time. Now granted it won’t always go that way but I think more often than not it will.
It will also make your employees feel more valued and trusted.
It’s your job to figure out what happened so that you can help, instead of making them feel guilty that it happened in the first place.
Before you do anything else, remember to ask a question.
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